1. Call a long lost friend. Please note, the friend in question won’t be lost, just his/her contact number would be *mysteriously* missing till the time you suddenly realize his sole reason for existence is so that he/she can promote your crappy blog post.
2. Think of a geometrical shape in your head. Revisit the coordinate geometry class that you left back eons ago in a haze of nightmares and ghostly clouds but happily endured because the bimbo of the class thought only you could explain how the 2D plane representing circles on paper was different from the 3D, say.. melons?
3. Analyse all the sounds in the background. Some of them may not be a screeching cat, or a man trying to sing a high note, or the whining of bulky aunty next door, or the 5-step-echoing slap resounding in the latest episode of “Kaun biwi, kaun chudail”.
4. Still remember point2? Ah well, the analysis still stands. Try finding the mirror image of the geometrical shape, discover which quadrant does the shape lie after rotating it 90 deg, and then a further 90 deg and then a further 90 deg and then a further 90 deg until you realise you’re right where you started (doesn’t take a genius for realization; does take a handful of bimbos though).
5. Debate on how world peace can be achieved despite the presence of bleach blond amber eyed Edward Cullen, attention hyping-plus-seeking Baba Ramdev, and Queen of mysteries aka stick-to-the-routine-and-start-name-with-K serial-killer Ekta Kapoor in the world.
6. Try out ultra-cool and HEP (read: LAME) user ids on twitter and block them with a panache to match that of the crooked-old-devil professor who relentlessly chased you back in college with “your attendance isn’t up to the mark!!”
7. Formulate secret plans to purposefully f**k up the happiness of your boss even if their probability of succeeding is same as the two magnetic poles of Earth getting reversed. Note: that means, it’s not impossible, it’ll just take forever and will have demolishing effect on everyone involved. What the hell, dreaming never costs a dime.
8. Write a tribute to the greatest man to have ever walked this Earth, whose ideas have rejuvenated senile old men into thinking anyone can be a stud- Barney Stinson.
9. Notice how you have already spent the said amount of time reading each line intently, sometimes going back remembering the bimbo/stud of the class, other times nodding sympathetically with the description of the Boss, wondering the entire time who in his sanest mind ever referred you here.
I rest my case.
